Attack!!!!

Right now as I write this I am having an anxiety attack. I get them from time to time and I don't like it. It takes over my whole being...I can breathe, speak, or function. You have no idea how long this is taking me to type this out! I began to have irrational thinking...my emotions are beyond overwhelmed....and the tears....I can't control my tears...my stomach is in knots right now laced with nausea.

I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Right now every not so good emotion coming up and is stuck in my throat....and that does not make the nausea any better...its even more horrible because I feel helpless...hopeless...I have had this issue for many years...I have meds to take for it but sometimes even the meds don't work....

So what do I do? Everything and anything possible....breathing techniques....go for a walk or sit outside because I need air....However in times past I've caused myself harm by cutting myself. They say those who cut feels better because it releases this euphoric feeling that causes the brain to set off an illusion of everything is right with the world...when in essence its not because I have harmed myself.....that's not the healthy way of course but to be honest it works....

When I have an anxiety attack I become extremely tired....it takes so much out of me....at this stage of the attack I'm coming down.....the residue usually linger for days....I'm trying to find my focal point and stick with it but its hard but doable....my poor mother has never witnessed me having one before so I'm sure that I'm driving her nuts now...being the overly concerned parent...God love her.....

I think writing this has eased some of the anxiety.....a form of release. That's what its abt and that is releasing it so you can rid yourself from whatever it is (thank you Raine). All that knows me knows that I hate to cry....but when anxiety comes in I have no other choice but to let it out....so hard...very hard...
To endure such discomfort wrenches my soul....and now I must lay down to endure the rest of this to the point that I fall asleep....I'm drained...in pain....and right now only God can come in and place me in perfect peace....

I surrender,
Queen 2 B

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Welcome to the Purple moat.....

Years ago I started a blog but never had the time or knowledge of what to do with it. So much has happened since that time and I believe that there is so much to come because that's how life is.

This is an introductory to the random things of life. I'm not a profound writer but I do love to write. My mind is often full to the point that I have no where to place them. This blog "Rhythmic Soul-Can you feel it?" has been created to share and display thoughts, issues, rants, raves, hopes and whatever the hell I feel worth writing about.

Oh by the way......there is no CENSORSHIP however I won't accept foolishness....(oops I may have lost some people right there)...Oh well....Anywayzzz..

I've been around for awhile and have seen lots. I know others who perhaps want their story told but can't seem to find the words or don't want themselves known. I am here for you!

Rhythmic Soul......

When I first began writing poetry on the regular, I had this saying "Let the rhythm of your soul, be the mind of your flow".  So I had came up with a production "label" so to speak called Rhythmic Soul. I haven't done much with it due to life's challenges (which I will talk about some other time). Anyway... I believe that our souls has it's own rhythm to groove to......and with the right people in our lives we can create symphonies.

Can You Feel IT?

Life is felt in so many ways because we are made of numerous sensors inside and out of our bodies......and as long as we don't limit that gift of feeling....we can take journeys, walks, vacations, known and unknown destinations together in harmony.

In Closing......

I will try and keep this updated as often as I can....(challenging myself for a weekly write)....if you have any specific topics feel free to email me queenbpoet@gmail.com and leave me message.

I love each and every one of you.....

Queen 2 B